It's Not All Black and White...

It’s not all black and white…

I have been struggling for a while to find the right way to start this journey that I have called ‘Tomorrow’s Seeds’, and have been juggling a number of challenging ideas in my head over the last few weeks.  So rather I thought that I would dive straight into things by challenging myself with identifying what I currently could call the greatest lesson I have learnt in my work with people thus far.  But this has proven no easy task in a world where I am constantly challenged by the complexities of life and the people I have the privilege to work with.  It’s thinking about these very challenges that has lead me to get Tomorrow’s Seeds off the ground, as well as answering my initial question…

So what is this mind-blowing lesson that resulted from this elusive self-inflicted challenge? It’s pretty simple actually… the greatest lesson I have learnt is that LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE.  We have heard that saying so often, but have we ever really thought about it?  And even more so, have we ever put the idea into practice in our own personal and professional lives?  It is inherent in human nature to desire control of life’s circumstances, to create predictability and stability, and in essence the clarity of a black and white world where there is no unexpected surprises.  But this very notion of a black and white simplicity is an idealised, ostrich ‘head in the sand’ style of thinking that does not take into account that life is just not that simple!

So what does life really look like?  Have you ever really looked at a ‘black and white’ photograph?  If you look closely, there is often very little true black and white.  Rather a truly memorable black and white image actually consists of an infinite range of shades of grey, the subtleties of which create a depth and richness that often surpasses the impact of colour.  Our lives often take a similar form, where no matter the intensity of the search for a ‘black and white’ existence, our lives are filled with the grey moments that give a richness to it.  Without these shades of grey, life becomes dull and boring, a lack of challenges destroys motivation and limits the beauty of setting and attaining our goals in life. 

It is in the interaction with children that this becomes altogether clear, that there is no such thing as black and white.  Children grow up in the grey shades of life, faced with choices and challenges that form the essence of their learning experiences.  Take these away and you remove their independent ability to learn and grow as human beings.  But this requires flexibility and the relinquishing of control at times… everything that goes against a ‘black and white’ thinker’s frame of reference.  Children need these shades of grey in order to develop their own sense of self, learning valuable lessons for themselves and developing an independent moral view of life.  Without learning lessons for themselves, children cannot grow into independent, mature adults that can cope with the adversity life is likely to throw at them.

For an adult, these grey areas are petrifying.  The notion of letting go all control induces a sense of fear that appears insurmountable.  Yet without an ability to revel in the grey areas of life, you risk missing out on the richness of life.  Forcing a ‘black and white’ view on children forever takes away their ability to learn for themselves, taking away the joy and richness of learning and growing. 

So how much time do you spend in your grey areas?  How much do you allow the children you are responsible for to spend growing in the grey areas of life? Why don’t you take some risks? Go on an adventure? Spend some time between the black and white shades in the greys of life?